As diligent wives always are, I was busy in the kitchen, tidying up and doing some preparations for the next meal when my husband wandered in. Well, he actually stumbled in, eyes mostly closed, looking like he had been awakened from deep slumber. Because that's exactly what he had been doing. No, he's not a lazy guy. It was 4:15 in the morning! What the heck was I doing cleaning the kitchen in the middle of the night, you may wonder? Unfortunately, insomnia is a regular thing for me, so I have learned that time is better spent being productive than laying around in bed looking at the clock every ten minutes.
Jimmy never wakes up, not even when I holler "ICE CREAM!!!" in his ear. And ice cream is his vice. So I was a bit startled and admittedly nervous at having awakened the hard-working man who had a 12 hour shift waiting for him in the morning. But alas, I did not need to worry because my man is the kind of guy every woman wishes for. Once he was coherent, he gave me a big hug and said, "I see you are becoming quite the Proverbs 31 woman!" I gave him an extremely inquisitive and somewhat suspicious look. He can't be blessing me at 4:15 in the morning, can he? I braced myself for scathing sarcasm, which did not come. He continued, "You're getting up while it is still dark! What a woman!" I felt very very good about myself until I realized that later in the afternoon when I should be selling purple linens in the marketplace, I would be having a very long nap!
This leads me to the whole Proverbs 31 thing. Every time I read that chapter I feel nothing but distain for that woman to whom the rest of womanity pales in comparison. Well, I don't measure up anyway. Is there any other woman out there who is like a merchant ship, bringing food from afar? Does buying from the local farmer's market count?? I hope so. Do all of you really get up while it is still dark? (And stay up for the rest of the day?) I have never personally bought a field or planted a vineyard out of my earnings. (Earnings??) And although my arms are probably stronger than a lot of other women, I can't say that I always use them for working vigorously. Seriously, I'm really too tired to get a bunch of work done after going to the gym... Our muscles need rest to rebuild, right? OH! I got one right! I bought my boys RED jackets this winter, and therefore I have no fear for my household when it snows! ('Cause they're clothed in scarlet! Yay!)
But this woman has seriously set the bar so high that even the thought of living up to her standards causes my brain to short circuit. How can she do SO MUCH? How can she buy fields, plant vineyards, make linen garments, sell them, supply merchants with sashes, all the while being clothed with dignity and laughing at the days to come? I can only imagine my boys arising each morning and saying, "Hello, bless-ed Mother". And when my husband praises me, I never quite feel like I deserve it.
I'm sure you are all thinking at this point that I have some wise words and encouragement about how we all are like this Proverbs 31 woman in our own special way. Hmmmmmmmm. Nope. I actually feel disgruntled at both this woman who has us all looking like lazy bums, as well as the guy who wrote about her.
But this guy (King Lemuel, if you are into details) said in his introduction, "A wife of noble character who can find?" Maybe this is a fictional character! Maybe he couldn't find a wife like that (and we all know that those Old Testament guys tried out a lot of wives). Maybe she just doesn't exist. That is the first comforting thought I have had in this whole rant. Maybe we really don't have to try so hard to live up to what some guy thought would be the perfect wife. I'm not saying there are no lessons to be learned in Proverbs 31. I'm just saying that maybe we shouldn't try to compare ourselves to someone who probably never existed, and we probably shouldn't beat ourselves up for not being good enough when the fact is that condemnation is not what God wants us to feel when we read His Word. Maybe I should just trust that God is working on me and try to do my best without trying to be perfect... 'cause I'm not anyways and it just stresses me out.
4 comments:
i heard the perspective on it that it is a summary of her whole life and that certain things may have been for a season not a consistant all the time thing.
sometimes when something seems quite unattainable it makes us strive for it even harder, so we aim for the ideal but end up pretty good anyways, so long as we realize it is a process and a journey.
hehe, i read :0) Very good. I have tried to research that Pov lady like crazy. If you really go deep into definitions from back then (not moder definitions) it really puts it into better perspective. i have a copy of the first dictionary and it was all bible based. This is the dictionary people really need to use to study the bible now. they have ... See Morechanged way to much in today's dictionary for us to understand it in relation to what the bible was actually saying. it's the 'American Dictionary of the English Language' the first one ever made by Noah Webster 1828. Did you know the word dinosaur never even existed until they made it up and added it to the dictionary in later years. it used to always be dragon. you can finally purchase exact replicas of this first dictionary now on line. I couldn't live without mine. It clears up so much, because when they wrote the first English bible this was the dictionary they were using, especialy good if you like King james :0)
Your husband thought you were like her...
Thanks everybody for your comments!
kmawesome, the problem with me is that if I strive for something unattainable, I just feel like a failure, even if I do "pretty good". But I tend to set myself up for that on a regular basis and its something I'm working on getting away from. It definitely is a process.
Angeleen, I have to admit, I have never really tried to research that Proverbs lady. Maybe that would help.
Misty, (((((HUGS)))) Thanks for the reminder!
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