Quarters

My eyes watering from the putrid stench that filled my nostrils, I tried to find a spot clean enough to take the next step.  What have I done, bringing my children to this place?  Oh God!  I gripped my boys' hands tighter, trying to protect them from the sights and smells that were beating on our senses, until one of them cried out that I was hurting him.  "I'm so sorry, sweetie, I'm so sorry.  We just need to get out of here!"

We were in an old warehouse in the worst part of the worst part of town.  I had never seen anything like this in my life.  This is where the shunned, the sick and the incapable congregated to live out their final days in misery and desolation.  The place was covered with trash and excrement.  Most of the people living here were not even well enough to sit up and they lay in their own mess, crying out for help to any unfortunate person who happened to stumble upon this mass of decaying humanity.

I need to do something!  These people need my help!  What can I do?  What can I do? 

I reached into my pocket and pulled out some money.  I began to hand out quarters, loonies and cash to those we passed.  The Lord began to tug at my heart.  This was not right.  I was to help them, not appease my conscience by dishing out money to people who could not even get up to spend it!  What good is a quarter in the hands of a dying man?  But I ditched that thought and slowly continued my journey through the maze of mess that surrounded me.

Suddenly a man's hand reached out from under a fallen garbage bin and grabbed my youngest son's leg.  His whole body was a mass of oozing, bloody sores and I screamed at the man as we began a tug-of-war over my son's body.  "Let him go!!! Let him go!!!"  My health, strength and fearful adrenaline won out, and the man released his grip.  "We need to get out of here!  Are you O.K.?"  I looked down at my son, and his eyes were spilling over and his lips were quivering.  "I'm so sorry.  That was terrifying, wasn't it?"  I hugged and reassured him.  "No, Mommy.  He needs our help!  We need to help him.  We can't leave him there!"

"Son, that is so sweet that you want to help him.  Here, throw him a quarter and let's get out of here."  I handed my son a quarter and my heart lurched within me.  My conscience nagged incessantly and my heart dropped when my son looked up at me with tear-brimmed eyes and said, "But Mommy, he needs love."

"Give him the quarter and we are out of here.  That's all the love I've got to give today."

In grief, my little boy handed the man the quarter and turned anguished eyes to me.  "But please, Mommy, he needs love!"   

"Noooo!"  In a panic, I did not even wait for my children, but took off running.  As I ran, Jesus' words tumbled around in my head.  What you did for the least of these, you did for Me... Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy... You are the salt of the earth.  But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again?  It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot... Do not judge, or you too will be judged.  For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you...  So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you... So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you... "Daughter, you need to obey.  You need to walk in obedience and love and stop your self-absorbed gratification of the flesh."  I ran faster, trying in vain to run from my own conscience.

As I fled, I stumbled over a garbage can and fell to one knee, badly scraping it.  I sat down for a moment, mumbling to myself about germs, infection and Polysporin.  A man walking past threw me a quarter.  So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you...  So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you...

"No! I am not one of them!  No!"  As I cried beseechingly, I picked up the quarter to throw it back at him.  In horror, I observed my hands.  Sores began to form, bleed, then ooze with pus.  I tried to shove the garbage can aside, but found that I was too weak.  "Oh God!  No!  No!  No..."  And I collapsed in the rubble.


God, I know You sent this dream as a wake-up call.  Help me to obey.  Help me to love.