Becoming Who I Am: The Light Around the Corner

Monday, May 09, 2011

The Light Around the Corner

It is one thing not to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It is another thing to not believe it is there at all. That is where I have been at. Thus the silent blog. Not only was the light not visible, I had lost the perspective that this light even existed. Vast black expanse... perhaps like the darkness before the world was created. It is no coincidence that God created light before anything else. Without light, there is no colour. Without colour, there is no life. Pure darkness consumes and sucks all semblance of life and breath.

To be honest, I still cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. But I have come to realize that this journey has a lot of twists and turns. Maybe the tunnel has a curve in it that is preventing me from seeing my destination. A couple of days ago I was reminded that I carry a Light. I need to turn it on. It is the Word of God. It only shines as far as my next step but believe me, after wandering and bumping around in the darkness, one short beam of light shines brightly!

So, how do I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel? At this point, it doesn't matter. What matters is that I keep going for another day. What if I quit just one day too soon? So, in God's strength, holding on to Him for dear life knowing that He is holding me even tighter, I will persevere. Keep me going, Lord, keep me going. Just one more day... I can always go just one more day.

4 comments:

John Rambo's Wife said...: Glad you updated your blog! :) I love reading what you write and when you have time I think it is great to know your thoughts. So keep writing!; 7:55 PM, May 09, 2011
Stephanie said...: Thanks Mrs. Rambo!; 12:33 AM, May 10, 2011
Shari Manning said...: Stephanie, I love that you choose to be so transparent. Its honest and sincere and not wrapped up in worries about what someone might think. What a great reminder of the light inside of us, the light of the word of God! Its interesting to me, that I have clung to the word in great darkness yet didn't recognize it for the light it was... and still the word brought me through. I have learned to trust him even when I can't see any light at all...

Thank you for sharing! Even sharing the darkness your walking through is better than your silence :); 10:01 PM, May 31, 2011
Stephanie said...: Awww, thanks Shari. I think what you said that sharing the darkness I'm walking through is better than silence is very true for me... You know that if I'm quiet, there's a problem!!!! But seriously, that is so true... And I'm glad you commented here, because I had forgotten about this and needed to re-read it tonight. Thanks!!; 10:38 PM, May 31, 2011

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Where else would I go?

John 6:66 - 69 says "From this time many of His disciples turned back and no longer followed him. "You do not want to leave too, do you?" Jesus asked the Twelve. Simon Peter answered Him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that You are the Holy One of God."

Some time ago someone asked me, "What has God done for you? What good is your faith? Isn't it supposed to help?" Good question. I must admit, my faith isn't always very strong... but God's faithfulness, mercy, grace and overwhelming compassion have carried me through seemingly insurmountable hard times. So... What has God done for me? Well, let me tell you. Christianity isn't just a faith. Jesus is a living person who has carried me when I couldn't stand up myself. I have seen Him. To deny His faithfulness and presence would be like denying that the earth is round or claiming we don't need air to stay alive. It is factual reality of a genuine, involved and compassionate God and Father, not a random faith in a religion that has preserved me and continues to move me forward. His presence is undeniably real and His love is so apparent. I actually know Him. He visits me. He speaks to me. Literally. And I know He loves me and that He is good. As His disciples asked in John 6, I reiterate - Where else would I go? Every time I take an introspective and purposeful look into my journey thus far I see His faithfulness and work which provides the propulsion I need to move ahead.