Boys in a Box

Being an extremely over-protective homeschooling parent, it may surprise you that for about a year now I have been pondering the idea of putting my kids into school. Actually, “pondering” may not be the appropriate word. Wrestling. Contending. Crying out to the Lord in a distressed manner. Yes—that’s more like it.

Last year, I heard the Lord tell me that we should put the boys in school next year and I could not put it out of my mind. It wasn’t like, “Hmmm… I wonder if we should put the kids in school?” It was the clear voice of God unequivocally speaking to me—the kind of voice that makes a person stand up, salute and say “YES SIR!” So, despite my fears and hesitations, and maybe because I know I must conquer them, I forged ahead in my quest to find peace about sending my little innocent babes to the big world out-of-sight of their ever-looming mother. I mentioned it to my husband a few times, but he was not really for the idea and since I was so hesitant, I didn’t mind a bit. Hubby says, “no”. That’s a good reason to keep them home!

This September, at the beginning of our homeschooling year, the issue rose up again. Loudly. God would not leave me alone. I MUST put the kids in school next year. I finally came to a place of being at peace about it. AHHHHHH. Now I can finally let them go.

Then it happened. The glitch in the system. (Or so I thought.) My husband would not have any of it. “Absolutely, positively NO WAY are we putting the kids in school next year. I won’t even pray about it because I already know we’re not supposed to. Don’t even ask about it again. If God wants us to put the kids in school, I will have to hear the audible voice of God Himself.”

YIKES!!!! Now what???? I couldn’t sleep for a couple of weeks. Was I not hearing from God? Even more disturbing than that, could it be that Jimmy was not hearing from God?? (He has a pretty good track record on matters of importance, and I have learned to trust his judgment.) So, I spent my nights questioning my ability to hear from God, and begging the Lord to show Jimmy what to do, and that I will have peace about whatever he decides.

Two weeks later, Jimmy had a dream…

He was in an operating room where a doctor was doing heart surgery on two boys. When their chests were opened, Jimmy grabbed the boys’ hearts, put them in a box and ran off with them. He wanted to preserve them. He wanted to keep those two little boys’ hearts safe from harm and close to his heart in the little box he had made for them. But of course those precious hearts could not thrive in a box. They began to die…

And Jimmy woke up. And he knew. He knew that we could not keep our little boys in a box any longer. We had to let them go. We had to release them to the Father who will not only protect them better than we can, but also release them to reach their God-given destiny.
God’s timing is wonderful. He is teaching me to trust Him… When the time is right, He will speak. I can trust Him to speak to Jimmy. I can trust Him with our children. But more than that, we are learning that God’s hands are always carrying, but never crushing.

Yes, our kids are going to be put into a “real” school next year… I get to keep them home one more year, and I mean to make the most of it!