Swimming Lessons

I am a homeschooling mom. People homeschool their children for many and various reasons. Some want to provide their children with a rich, natural environment to encourage a love of learning and don't want to stifle their kids' creativity in the rigid structure of the school system. Some parents know about the benefits of one-on-one tutoring and have chosen homeschooling to pursue that method of instruction. Many parents don't agree with much of the public school curriculum and want to teach their children in a faith-based setting. These reasons are very good and all of them were factored into our decision to homeschool. However, my primary reason to homeschool my children is because I am the most over-protective parent I have ever met and am unwilling to let my children out of my sight. When I insist on holding my almost 6 and 7 year old's hands when walking across the street even though they know full-well not to run off into traffic and someone tells me, "You know... You're not still going to be doing that when they're 18", I am quick to retort, "And WHY NOT??"

This over-protective nature of mine was glaring today when I took my children to swimming lessons. I brought some cross-stitching to work on while my kids were learning to swim. However, I did not sew a single stitch... I was too busy clutching the fabric in my hands and wringing it like an old dish rag while ensuring my children were still afloat in the pool. A woman came and sat next to me and attempted to strike up a conversation. She was also a homeschooling mom. I don't think her reason for homeschooling was the same as mine. I could tell because she was able to carry on a coherent conversation despite the fact that her four year old was flailing in the deep end. I couldn't. In fact, at one point I forgot to respond to one of her comments, which I realized when I suddenly and uncomfortably felt her gaze on me. "Oh! I'm sorry", I said, "I couldn't talk because I was watching my kids. Heh, heh, heh." A little later, I couldn't see my five year old. But I stayed calm... Well, sort of. I did not leap over the bleachers, jump the balcony and dive in to save my young one. No. However, without giving it a thought, I did grab the hand of this lady sitting next to me (I would tell you her name, but I don't know it). I did not let go. I hung on like she was a life preserver and desperately gasped for air, as I could only hope my son was doing at that point. "Where's my baby??", I cried in anguish. The lady attempted to pry her hand away from mine and said, "Baby? I thought you had five and six year olds. They are standing with their class next to the life jackets over there." I tried to discreetly remove my hand from hers. "Oh... heh, heh, heh. Thanks..."

Despite this little setback today, I know that God has been working on my heart in this area. He is showing me that clutching my precious children so tightly is not helping them, it is holding them back. He is so much more able to take care of them than I am. His loving arms are the safest place to be, and it is my job as a parent to teach them His ways and point them to the Father who will never leave them but who will empower them to reach their potential. Like a small child who doesn't realize they are damaging a butterfly by holding on to its wings, I can do no good for my kids if I don't release them from my closed fist.

Lord, forgive me for not trusting You. Please continue the good work You have begun in me. I release my children into Your hands, knowing that You intend only good for them, and that you will protect them according to Psalm 91.

Psalm 91
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."
Surely He will save you from the fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with His feathers,
and under His wings you will find refuge;
His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.
If you make the Most High your dwelling -
even the Lord, who is my refuge -
then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
For He will command His angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
"Because he love Me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honour him.
With long life will I satisfy him
and show him My salvation."